Throughout my depression, music has been the only constant comfort that I felt brave enough to turn to. Music was there for me when I needed it, music told me what I wanted to hear and music truly has been the best therapy for me.
Throughout my spell of depression I have experienced a number of panic attacks. You can’t breathe, the room spins and your hands shake uncontrollably. The only way I could calm myself was to get lost in music. To put my headphones in and ignore the world. Within my world of music I feel no judgement, I feel no prejudice. A song won’t tell me to ‘snap out of it’ or ‘perk up’, a song will give me the courage to fight by reaching into my inner feelings.
Photo of Band ‘Scarlet‘
A subscription to Spotify was the best purchase I have made in the last few months. Having access to thousands of songs, songs I can pick and choose for what mood I feel and songs I can stream through my TV, in my car and even when I am on the train. This gives me comfort that the one thing I truly find comfort in can be with me whenever I need.
Photo of Band ‘The Mono LP’s’
I attended a music event a few weeks back with a good friend of mine called ‘Threshold Festival’. I attended this just after feeling my lowest. Being in a room with hundreds of other music fans, watching and meeting some of the best bands Liverpool has to offer, made me feel I could start to pick up the pieces of my life. I met some incredible people that night, people I hope will become good friends for a long time. Watching these people perform in essence gave me courage to find myself again. And as for my friend I attended with, knowing he is by my side every step of the way is the most heart-warming feeling I could ever ask for. For the entire Threshold Festival a smile never left my face (until I was stuffing it with amazing food).
I made the decision to attend as many music events as I could this year. Music has had such a big impact on my life, I don’t want to give up on the feeling it gives me. I have invested in many gig tickets and I plan to invest in many more.
As well as listening to music I have started to play. I decided to start learning bass guitar, with a good friend who is not only helping me through my depression but helping me to become a global superstar (in my dreams). Just having something to look forward to of an evening when I am on my own gives me a little glimmer of hope. Yes I can’t talk to, hug or really gain physical comfort from my bass guitar, but I can look damn good playing it!
You can find Cat here:
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