“I posted this photo on social media when my son was about 8 months old. What you see is a smiling, happy baby. And a smiling, happy mum.
Well you’d be right about the smiling, happy baby.
And I may be smiling, but the happy mum hadn’t been around for 8 months.
Because despite my son being amazing – sleeping, eating, developing how he should, I was a nervous wreck. I had insomnia so I was surviving on one hour or sleep most nights despite him sleeping through and me taking sleeping tablets.
This chronic insomnia lead to sky-high anxiety; changing me from a confident and ambitious woman to a mum too scared to have her best friends around for coffee. And that lead to depression. Not wanting to continue this overwhelming and confidence-steeling new life I had.
Yes we were on holiday in Wales – great family time. But I was scared of being away from home comforts (not that they really made me any happier), and most of the time just wanted this feeling of loneliness and being ashamed of failing as a mum to go away.
I didn’t understand why I didn’t experience motherhood in the same way as many of the mums around me. But I didn’t want to let on to them that I was struggling. So (like them!) I just posted the happy looking pictures, of fun or exciting events.
It wasn’t until I realised that so many mums find it hard, that I started speaking out, and found that the majority of their posts were also a fake reality.
The #MeYouDontSee in my photo is overwhelmed, lonely, ashamed, fearful for the future, and anxious.”
What’s your #MeYouDontSee?
Emily is the founder of MummyLinks, a new free app launching early this year. It’s the safe place to meet mums for local playdates.
Over the next few months, Have you seen that girl? and MummyLinks are hosting the #MeYouDontSee photo series and we’d love you to join us any with photos you feel you can share.
Find out what it’s all about and how to join our #MeYouDontSee photo campaign HERE
Make sure to scroll down and to see others who’ve joined us on the website or follow us on social media and see who’s also sharing there! Let’s so this together!